Just when you think it’s bad enough based upon what others are saying about you on social media or in other community forums, in “steps” the police department who may be looking to put you in handcuffs and lock you up! This is the time when you really have to make a few extremely serious decisions.
Suicide and Other Actions
Sadly, the social and legal ramifications of being charged or accused of a sex offense are so astronomical, many people who face these endeavors seriously consider suicide or some other drastic way “getting out” of the situation.
Finding out from a detective or police officer that someone has made an allegation that sexual contact or a sexual act occurred recently or even years ago, sends a chilling effect down anyone’s spine.
Accusations Stem from Family Members or Community Members
Usually, these allegations stem from family or close community ties which means that other family members and friends discuss and cast aspersions immediately. Many times social media becomes employed by someone who thinks it’s a good idea to tell the world about something that is a mere accusation. This social component is extremely stressful because relationships, including spouses and close family members, sometimes fall apart. It’s as if a nuclear bomb went off inside your head and the devastation never stops.
Initial Serious Decisions
First, do you buckle or do you stand up and fight? At this stage, most people are so scared and exhausted from being dragged out in public and accused, that they really don’t know or understand what to do. This is where an experienced and talented attorney should come into play. They may realize that you are at the lowest ebb in your life. That no one else will stand next to you during this time of trials and tribulations but a good lawyer is obligated to do so, not just morally but from a legal standpoint. Many times, I’ve heard from defendants in these situations how much they appreciate just knowing that the lawyer, such as myself is “simply there” during the process. Just to have someone available to run thoughts and legal issues by, can be a godsend.
Second, you have to make a decision about how you’re going to handle the legal and social aspects of what you’re being accused of. In other words, you need a talented and good lawyer to guide you here. There are many other professionals such as psychiatric evaluations, forensic testing and other modalities that may come into play. But there is no doubt about it, you need someone who is experienced and can guide the way here in order to be successful.
Third, you have to change your total mindset. Many of us who are basically good people find it very difficult when another person accuses us of something or is angry with us. This third step is really an overall mental process where “calluses” must be grown. I can’t overemphasize how quickly this must be done. In most cases, valuable time is wasted by feeling sorry for oneself, simply being scared and being so frozen at the moment that no action is taken. This is a life and death scenario. The method upon which you focus and act now will most likely decide your fate.
Fourth, make up your mind that you will not be able to convince certain people that these events did not occur. Most people in our society will almost automatically believe another when an accusation is made. The reasoning is, “why else would they say this unless it’s true”? Well, the reality is that in our society many people makeup and exaggerate events that never occurred. Sometimes, it is almost impossible to figure out why this is being said. Many learned people, like Ph.D.’s and physicians who have been practicing for years, still cannot figure out why people make accusations that never occurred. Memory, thought processes, history, and therapy or psychiatric treatment can play a major role in what is allegedly remembered or thought about.
Usually, by the time someone reads a blog like this, they have already been charged or about to be charged. This is the time to take action. What you do now is imperative and could change the outcome of the case!